dead?

i think i've become too tired to even say "i'm dead".
not physically, coz really i've been sleeping for 9 hours almost every day.
but i still get really really drained out whenever i force myself to sit infront of the comp and start something.
i'm not frustrated, not like when i use to when i couldnt come up with any design. i just get immune to it. bored of myself, i know i can do better, but i dont know how. it doesnt pay off just sitting here infront of the comp, coz i couldnt finalize.
i couldnt say i'm sad either, cause i just dont feel anymore. yes my expression/emotion have gone pass 0 and i just feel grey.
passion? i still holds the hope to build beautiful, practical homes for families. but when things like this goes on, i dont know how long i'll hold on to it anymore.
its so grey, i'm lost.
fuck architorture.