you know, i've been real stress out everytime a question is popped to me regarding where will i be going next.
cause it just isnt as simple as before anymore.
UK is no longer my option even though it is my first choice.
Aussie is the "best" choice, and i dreaded even at the thought of that. ;(
next would be USA. as much as their cultures, its people and etc are l.o.v.e. i'm still not quite sure. one thing about american architecture i notice, isnt at all focused on environmental science. its Architecture no doubt. but the point is, the more i do ES, the more i fall in love with it. so unless i'm doing urban planning, i dont think US is the best choice.
well, next would be GERMANY. omg have i even tell you how much i love this country. the sound of its name itself gets me high. yes yes, germany is WAYYYYYY above the uk in my list really. :) kkrazy architecture.
just check them out. GERMAN ARCHITECTURE.
dont they look absolutely welcoming? <3
& how can you not love those high pitched roofs?! <3
they're the cutest thing ever.
i mean they may look "safe" in a sense its so familiar. but you just know you're gonna discover more of its magic; german architecture and germany. in your heart. somewhere. ok lah. it just feels like angels are singing at the mention of germany.
but the obstacle for germany is... language, no doubt! so its totally OFF.
anyways,
it really is a bummer to learn that UK is out of my league. :(
not to mention the cringe i make every time i recall the statement. :( :(
but it wasnt so bad then, cause at least i get to choose either aussie or US. still.
which in this case i would so die for US.
i dont really know why i dislike aussie this much. maybe cause its not winter in dec. o_o" haha such bs. or maybe its because... it seems like the whole kl is there. wtf.
however today, my mom told me my dad said "its either aussie or you're not gonna continue at all."
wtf? he didnt even want to tell me that HIMSELF.
anyways, i was already so lost at the thought of NOT being able to go to the uk.
and now he's giving me the only option of the one i DREADED MOST.
it was simply tsunami. :'(
i know its a lot of money for UK. but you should also understand when you've already dreamt for that for like 3 years.. then you wake up one day to "its either aussie or your not gonna continue AT ALL". you feel absolutely shitty. you dont just get over it. not that soon at least.
its like.... how do i explain.
hmm.. ok.
imagine you're sleeping beauty, you're bought up all kind and happy and smily and beautiful things because you dont really know whats there outside cause you're protected. you dont hope for anything cause you were very very contented with what you have now.
then one day, fairy god mothers come to tell you that you have parents! (wow) and they're the king & queen of a great great kingdom, (wow wow) you're a princess! (WOW).
now wouldnt it be nice if sleeping beauty could just go back to her kingdom and live a fairytale story?
yes it would cause its more than she could hope for. An amazing life awaits her, she'd get to see the world, and do all those stuff she dare not even dream of when she was little. :)
but reality isnt so.
So lets go back to after fairygod mothers tell her bout the WOW WOW WOW! news,
followed up with.... "but you wont be going back, ever!" :( *thunder*
now if only she never knew that she have parents, and is a princess who owns the great kingdom. she would have been so contented and happy with what she have.
but the fact is, she realize she has all this, but she's never get to see her parents nor learn how great her kingdom is, whats the outside world like, and if handsome princes with white horses REALLY exist. nevertheless, the thought of being a princess could only be imagined through reading other fairytales. :/
do you get what i mean? do you understand how i feel?
its actually getting to me so bad, i dont even know how to discuss it with my parents anymore, also, it've made me even more oblige to talk to them bout any of my dreams, cause fairytales dont happen.
...
i guess i should just stick to "less hope, less disappointment." like i always did. :((
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