旧情人。。

i tried typing it in chinese because he's a "true-blood" chinese, but i am truly a sdn. bhd.

it sucked so bad. =.=

anyways, after not speaking for one month.

ok there was this 5 minutes call. actually twice. even so, thats like 10minutes only in a month. so my point is still valid. fml.

I do miss him.

I miss having someone to talk to at anytime.

I miss having someone keep talking when i dont feel like talking.

I miss tuning him out on purpose because i'm still trying to let myself out of the game.

I miss upsetting someone on purpose.

I miss having someone to argue with.

I miss having someone i could call at odd hours, just because.

I miss having someone worry about my whereabouts.

I miss having someone who'd show up whenever I want him to.

I miss caring for someone knowing he cares too.

I miss how my emotion could go upside down for someone.

I really miss him.

and its weird, because there are things that i wanna spill, and its only discussable with him. but i cant do that now, can I?

and because we're in this weird relationship its not right for me to interrupt him during this crazy day-night-final-marathon right?

you know, it is times like this when i really regret stepping over the friendship border.

旧情人 真的不能当朋友吗？

... lifebad romance sucks.

Happy new year~ :)

haha, 12 days late, but nevertheless, happy new year ppl! :D

how was yours?

Let me recap my new year celebration...

(1) awesome dinner + paranormal story sharing. ♥ ♥ ♥

(2) short and not so amazing fireworks at pier 1, San Fransisco.

(seriously, msia is so much more fancier with our awesome christmas-y street decos + so many places pull the cork, eventho our trees do lose to theirs. heehee.)

(3) sucky hongkong style cafe for "supper".

kena con by its "hong kong style chee cheong fun", its just dried up cheong fun with very disgusting peanut & black sauce wtf.

(this is one stupid cafe which ruins the "hong kong style cheong fun", the other restaurant was awesome :D)

(4) stuck freezing for 3 hours on twin peak.

cause some guy wanna court this girl, and idk who's amazing idea was to go up there. and the group initially wanted to wait till sunrise since we were already there until 4am, but thank goodness the guys finally couldnt stand the cold anymore at 5 woohoo! (sun rise at 6.) haha. :P

(5) no sleep till after "breakfast". reach home at 7am.

yes, it was one hour drive (approx.) one way from san fran. to our place. vice versa. pretty near in real, but heck for someone who have no sleep and woke at 6am (i dont even rmb why did i wake up so early the day before) it was hell. well, not hell like what used to be at taylors. but hell cause i have bad skin now, and they hella irritate and reacts when i dont get enough rest, or too cold, or have too much sun block on for more than 7 hours. I do blotch. :(

(6) bathed and went to look for a chinese temple around san jose.

(cause dad have a friend's friend who went to thailand, and a monk/sifu she met at the temple told her something dirty was following her, and she had the similar "sudden break outs" like I do. after she saw that monk/sifu and have him "cleansed" her, she came back to malaysia clear skin and pretty again!) wtf.

nevertheless, i went there, prayed and had fun around the temple for awhile, feeling refreshed. but did not come back clear skin and pretty. lol.

anyways, unlike temples in msia (which i hate, have i emphasize enough how disgusted i am with msian temples? like i HAVE to prepare my wallet even before i go around praying. wtf) temples here are actually serene. No, i am not comparing them to a japanese temple nor a church (which are really serene places). but amazingly enough, this chinese temple was so peaceful too. there was a faint familiar scent of burning joss stick mingled with the sweet smell of fir/pine (idk what tree was it) in the air. u know, the sweet smell of trees, go to cameron highland and wind down your window while cruising, thats the scent i'm talking about, though there are that heavy blanket of humidity in msia which makes everything too "overwhelming". dont get me wrong, i love msia, but sometimes the humidity gets to me its just plain annoying.

(7) ... er i think i came home and only went to bed at 4pm. woke up at 6pm. and the rest of the day.... i dont rmb what happen. shouldnt be amazing otherwise i WILL rmb.

(8) went to a small scottish pub in cupertino village on saturday night (2nd jan) and had the most amazing mud pie ever. its one THICK/BIG slice of mocha ice cream on rich chocolate cookies (i think its oreo, without cream) with loads of cream and almond flakes on top. mmm-lovely! *salivates*

(9) and its already time for school :(

met loads of Adrienne's friends. they laugh alot, but i didnt click. wtf. i must be darn asian to not get their joke. or maybe cause i am a snob i dont find their laughing point humorous. fml.

(10) friendless, and getting retarded in english. i dont know why i suddenly have this malaysian accent after i came over, so embarrassed to speak. fml2. i am serious. i was asking if they accept debit, and my tone just went up like how annoying malaysians speak english. T.T somebody kill me.

(11) heck load of readings, enjoy the american interactive class practice, love the mixed ethnicity and the acceptance from the professors.

(12) went to a caucasian sports bar and grill for Marlyn's birthday. AWESOME ATMOSPHERE! like the best out of all pubs i went to eventho the food ratings are just so-so. but the cocktails here were amazing. this is serious, coming from a no-cocktail-please girl! :D :D

oh btw, marlyn's vanessa's very adorable friend. equally small in size as i am, and we had a ridiculous encounter on our first night out (to Bourbon & Branch). hilarious! haha.

(13) love watching Vanessa and Gonzalo together. this is the first couple i know who compliments each other in presence. I really hope vanessa's green card application goes well.

(14) appreciate the rain after days of freezing temperature.

(15) appreciating having ppl have lunch with me. haha.

I guess thats all for now!

imma go back to readings for tomorrow classes!

<3 :)

P/S: initially wanted to post about my new year resolutions, but i only have one. O_O and its not even a strong commitment thing. swt.

maybe definitely think you guys should help!

suggest what I need improvement on. :D

I promise I'll listen this time.

bye ♥ ;)

I think i need a new concept blog...

like...

a ONE-photo-ONE-caption posts blog...

example:

..if only i am four inches taller..

*lol*

catchy, simple, to-the-point!

yes? no?

Cheesecake factory! <3

my 2nd saturday, in CA.

Vanessa(elder sis) fell sick,

while Adrienne(younger sis) have finals to atten

d next week,

and Heidi has no friend. :(

So all there's left to do is stay home :((

The cold is such a booboo. :(

I'm always awaken by the low temperature in the middle of the night. eww.

& couldnt go back to sleep soon enough. eww2.

jet lag recurring. :(

then i got so bored, I start preparing breakfast.

at 3 in the morning. no kid!

thank goodness there's loads of ingredients at home, otherwise i'll have a tough time waiting for time to pass. :/

eww, this post is getting as boring as i feel! >:(

Anyways, curious as what i made for breakfasts?

I tried risotto friday morning, it was very tasty while it was still warm, but real nasty when it turns cold. Like heaven to hell, it gets hard and sticky c

old. I'd describe it as "nose poop", if you understand. hahahahaha.

So ppl, have risotto as much as you can in warmer weather! :P

Then I tried Lotus root soup with ribs and peanuts today.

My sisters says its okay, but i personally think it lacks something. (told you i'm a critique)

I could only taste fats(from ribs) and plain lotus root despite putting it to boil for approximately 6 hours and a lot of salt (imo).

hmm.. am i lacking any other ingredients?

*btw, no photos because i was still groggy from the lack of sleep & brain freeze.

I go back to bed when the sun is up, cause the temperature is more bearable then, and sleep the day away. wtf. sadness right?

went to micheal's to get christmas balls.

our christmas tree~

...

which gets all the heated air, because thats where its placed: before the heater. while I chill my limbs off. (ass is unsurprisingly the warmest, cause I sit so much.) tsk. lol.

And went for a ride with A. that crazy girl was still craving for FROZEN YOGURT despite the chilly weather. o_o

Thank goodness it wasnt open, haha. *evil*

So she brought me to a student hangout spot, to get bubble tea.

Then i force her to bring me elsewhere pretty, because it is just so boring!

(sucky architecture. cheap lighting. loads of "gang-ish" students hanging in the carpark. wtf.)

And we got to Santana Row on GPS! woohoo.

at 11.20pm. :D

Santana Row, San Jose, is sorta like Pasadena in LA (my absolute favourite place in America :D).

just lacks ppl.

I was here last year, love the concept, love the deco, but it still lacks crowd. *shrugs*

its "lifeless". architecture is pointless without "life" living in them.

*sigh*

Then like our visit last year, we went to the Cheesecake Factory, again, as our final stop. haha!

♥ ♥ ♥

This is their 30th Anniversary Limited Edition Chocolate Cake.

its a combined recipe of their original Cheesecake with (my previous favourite) Chocolate Fudge Cake.

mm-mm-Mmm, so divine! okbye!

*high pitch*-"HI, HOW ARE YOU?!"

greetings from america!

:)

how do i like it so far??

hmm... lets say, i still have not adapt to their sense of humor. (and spellings; its humour in British, so much more elite, dont you think? :P) haha.

and i also have not adapt to the way how americans are always so "happy".

i find this rather scary.

if there's a way to describe it, i supposed it'll be "like something truly out of the storybook", which is surprising because this isnt disneyland. you know what i mean?

but i suppose its a very good practice because they are very encouraging.

for example, you were invited for dinner at a restaurant.

after dinner, host asks you what do you think about the food.

normally, in malaysia, it wouldnt be odd or rude to give an honest feedback, if its bad, you can say "i didnt like it."

here, you have to say "it was awesome!" and it will be more polite if you say "ummm, this is REAALLLY GOOD!" with your mouth full.

cultural shock? yes indeed, considering i am such a critic. :P

haha. but i'm sure i'll adapt real fast. i hope.

be positive right? :)

The 2nd thing i love about america is, Food here makes me shit everyday!

its true, EVERY-DAY!

No more Constipation! :D:D

I hope i didnt just jinx it by saying out loud, to the world. hahaha.

i love shitting.

and they are all very pretty shits!

they're all of GOLD shade. isnt this phenomenon pretty? *adores* rofl.

Its so amazing, we eat home cook food, with ingredients pretty much the same as malaysia, but shitting is just so easy over here.

I couldnt figure the connection between them, what is wrong with malaysian food that causes gradual constipation? hmm... *wonders*

oh btw, on a totally off notice: its 8° right now. ccoooollld. my hands are freezing as i type. *bbrrrrr* :(

okay, where was i? *brain freeze*

Oh! I have something gay and proud to share!

I got into the highest possible english class available for international students. meaning my english is on par with the locals!

arent you all proud of me? :D:D:D

on the other hand, my math sucks. HAHAHAHAHA.

i am officially back to f1-3 math level. I am gonna do algebra all over again! lol.

yes i am very satisfied with my english score, my math score isnt affecting my mood. :D

besides, it was already expected considering i have not touch math for three years. :P *reasons* hahaha.

P/S: i was thinking about posting a comparison photo of how my complexion got slightly better after coming over, but then i couldnt find a photo of my -before. so there's not much difference to just post one. haha.

well then, at least i wont be contaminating your eyes this time! :P hahaha.

good bye now,

♥ Heidi Y.

(yes, wtf, i changed my name again! hahahahaha... everyone was saying "what?!" and how they would name their DOGS terri. wtf. but anyways i guess i'll be sticking to this one, since i already introduce myself as Heidi to everyone. its another story how "heidi" came about. rofl)

i thought i'm not going to, but i am anyways.

omg, this post is gonna be such a girl!

Yesterday, I was channel flipping then a sudden halt at channel 316, and the bar reads "BIG BOSS..." so cliche right the title? wtf

so anyways, the opening theme was playing and it was wtf damn poor quality (damn low pixels can see graphic burst) anyonewouldinstinctivelyswitchtothenextchanneliswear, but i didnt. i dont know why, it isnt my normal behavior.

Next thing I know, they were speaking about personal paranormal experience, and I was glued to the screen. I love paranormal stories. wtf.

Then it rained again, just as it would when it strikes 3pm for the past few days. Oh i hate going out on rainy day. But I have to go exchange qing's shoes at Cotton On, because she's a size 7, and i bought size 37 for her. wtf. I get really annoyed with malaysia lah. like seriously fuck shit, there's no "STANDARDIZATION". I am a US 5.5, wears nose size 4 and miscellaneous size 5.

Then at cotton on, there's 30+ shits. wtf.

without a chart. wtf2.

without assistant. wtf3.

fair enough, the flats are really cheap, like rm60 for 2. not the cheapest i get, but moderate enough. but fuck lah. poor service makes it rather not worthy now.

all they have are just "pretty ppl" cashier and shop-lookouts.

I dont think such word exist, but I am positive its the right word to describe their position.

Okay, let me first declare I dont hate Cotton On.

I find their style design fairly hype, but they do lack Colour.

and I have to say their layout is horrible. The circulation space is not designed at all. (I do believe they did not hire an interior designer, otherwise i pity the person. wtf. so many things so little space. siii-kiam-siap!)

There was only one person gap walkspace through out the entire floor arrangement. (have been to OU and Pyramid, both poor but pyramid's poorer.)

It is that small when small ppl like me could even feel stuffed in it.

their layout could easily be compared to cheap departmental store layouts. kid you not.

I suppose they have got the message across to me, if "just get what you want and get out!" is what they're trying to say. :)

They really lack that "happy-land" thing, like in F21 or Topshop, which makes even browsing so entertaining. multicoloured merchandize and good interior is plain ♥, wont you agree? 0:)

Nonetheless, Cotton On is not that bad too. Their only plus point, "more affordable". :)

Now back to the story of shop-lookouts.

See both OU and SP C-o Shop has 2 entrance/exit. of which, i could not notice any beeper (whats that thing called?) allocated near them, because the store really is just too packed.

So "shop assistant" have to arrange displays and looking out for shoplifters. I do pity them for having one extra position than other same retail line.

But its such a turn off. like wtf. are there so many shop lifters around? shame on you malaysians!

(serious shit, just need slight observation and you may spot them eye-ing from afar if anyone is doing something queer WTF)

Anyways, in conclusion, there's nothing I could do about the exchange because i lose the reciept. stupid me indeed :(

But seriously lah, thats not "everything" pun. I only bought it couple days ago (SP branch). They could easily trace back their sales for such purchase and continue with the exchange. I've done this at several international retails too. its just merely a matter of whether the shop assistants would go through the hassle to gain customer loyalty (in simmy language: customer star), or not.

conclusion, C-o tak nak.

*irrelevant info: they have weird crew, ppl who cannot speak decent english. It is stereotype of me, but its like *fish-slap-in-the-face* when English dress style is not paired with English language.

and i was put through 3 different employees who all could not do anything.

oh, this i have to rant.

I went up to this best "english style" shop-lookout because there's no one at the cashier. (he was seriously eye-ing the racks when i approached him!)

and told him my situation. fyi i have this weird accent when i speak english. dont ask me which country am i imitating, i just blurt an accent. i dont know where i picked it up. wtf. he could not understand me. and i was staring at him stupid while he stared at me stupid. wtf. then he went on with broken english phrase. no sentence structure. "exchange, you, need, bill, *draws a rectangular with 4 fingers* bill. ok? *smile*". babified. Seriously i was staring straight on at him with vulgars filling my head that couple minutes right after he spoke. wtf. and i repeated myself in a much slower pace than i usually do "yea, I understand I need a reciept for the exchange, but I dont have it. *explains specific situation* Can you please do something about it?"

He stared at me with a sour smile.

Then this annoyed pretty girl who so happens to pass by, flicked her eyes at me, then eye-contacting "any matter" to the guy. wtf?

He then "explained" in weird patched up english again to her. And i just cut him straight off to explain myself. again. (I was trying to work under than 15 mins free parking charge).

Oh she's awesome. She said "sorry. wait ah. TASHAAA!" *screams for "manager"*

Tasha, now we all know, took several loooong minutes before attending to an upset customer (me). apparently "arranging" displays is whats more important to attract customer. but heck the whole shop looks like a mess, and there's really not much difference with her said "arrangement". serious shit am even more upset.

I then explained my situation in my weird english accent again. and haha stupid floor manager Tasha stereotype back at me. HAHA! and carried on her explain of exchange policy in pure malaysian slang. damn pain to the ears, from some one who dress US now. she's in Uggs. in malaysia. wtf? Wannabe!

I then pleaded with puppy eyes. cause fuck i'm short. i couldnt do the stare. i mean i could, if only i'm seated along everyone. while explaining the whole situation again. catching a plane, the receipt is not with me, could not make it in time really! what am i to do with a pair of shoes i could not wear? hello, please help? be a little more flexible. PLEASEEEEE.

and again PURE MALAYSIAN SLANG "cannot. i understand your situation *damn unconvincing look* but i cant do anything cause i cannot write a report without your receipt *stereotype look*"

I then stated out, there's like 721827319387 of the same kind, you could have easily just switch it for me, (and it hit me, i could have just do the weird thing, switch the shoes right off, and walk out. since there's not techy device anyways. fuck.)

conclusion: "cannot!" straight on.

fuckkker.. damn stupid lah seriuosly.

I thought ppl nowadays are supposed to be smarter?

we are suppose to practice quick thinking at problem solving, and should be fairly more customer service-able after years of experience.

heck I even gain knowledge as to how to handle a difficult customer through my young years of shopping experience, yet they cant even achieve "peace solution" despite being "floor manager".

I was not the most difficult customer.

I gave up, just as the 15 minutes timeframe ends.

MD. these stupid shoes are now rm61 for ONE workable pair.

fuck.

oh by the way, another good practice Tasha owns. She gave mom the store line.

Sunway Pyramid. Cotton On.

03-5631 0759.

being very upset too, mom dialed the number just as we left pyramid. explains how very upset she is about their service, and offer if we could to write them a feedback for the report.

TASHA said "ow.. *pause* erm, can i call you back please? i'm with a xxx right now. thanks."

she never called back. mom tries again every hour.

1st she was on break, next she's busy... wont you be fed up with some manager like this?

"Good PR" definitely *sarcasm*

Anyways, in resort, I feedback-ed on www.cottonon.com.au. I know it would not be much help, especially with the HQ overseas, but there's no malaysian website. you couldnt even find malaysia in the "branches" provided on site.

*jump*

now happy moments.

I finally self-altered my online-bought pink blazer. with the help of lovely DDM owner, kacy's sewing machine! ♥

followed tightly with my first L4D play with Eiko-unnie, Loo2-unnie and CY dongseang. ♥ ♥ ♥

By far the best online game!

not that i play much, heehee. :P

reach home around 2am. when to clean and prepare for bed.

bloghopped for a while and saw halloween pictures on thy-dowager.blogspot.

lie on bed at 3+. and suddenly realize. heck i think i have too much paranormal story for a day!

and started hallucinating imagining smokers, ju-ons and the witch all around my room. On my closet, from the toilet door, and shadows under the room door to the family hall. wtf. until i got too tired and eventually fell asleep.

but why am i awake (again) and typing such long stories right now?

NIGHTMARE! obviously.

wtf. i woke at 5.30. by some freakish paranormal attack without a gun to back me up!

All i have is the remnants of cotton twine strings (architecture model materials) and thread (I was sewing these days) around the room. wtf. sad-nya. :(

Apparently, this tvb drama aunty who always acts as psychic, alerted the paranormal by sewing on the sewing machine in my room, during a thunderstorm. I'm not sure if its a pantang hour she sew at, or if she sew the raindolls (Teru teru bozu) too ugly and angered it. haha.

then *gradual dramatic thunder strikes* and old black and white flickering screen on my laptop, the possessed white cloth (half way through production) came flying to attack me. heck i dunno how that tvb aunty just disappears after snickering at me when she triggered them. such a witch! ugh. :O

Then i tied the incomplete possessed doll with the first thing i grab from my study table, cotton twine strings. and started smashing it agains the wall. and it bleed. wtf? scarily, my door was stuck open by an unknown force just as i shouted from my room for my parents. for help and also for company. I heard my mom's reply from her room and walk cautiously towards my room door, with the bleeding *dead?* incomplete one in my arm for "bail". which i then face to face with a 3meters UGLY raindoll outside the family hall window. wtf.wtf.wtf. it was so sad hanging/flying there in the rain, staring at me (if it has eyes). so even more dramatically scary with the thunder lighting. wtf.

I could not be bothered as it stared & put a curse on me while I staggered towards my parents room and fiddled with the door knob. I only got into the room after several desperate attempt. But mom and dad wasnt there as i heard them.

O_O SCARY ISNT IT?!

wtff.. i think i hate halloween.

lol. okay now i shall sleep. in peace. its 8am. already.

"goodnight" ♥

good morning. *sarcasm*

hello, 10.24am.

I understand those who have to wake up early for work and school.

you may whine "fuck, why do i have school/work! T.T"

but its actually cool to have school/work.

its great that you have something to wake up for in the morning.

They say, "breakfast is the most important meal of the day!"

I do agree, but i also stand by a point where "it must be a lovely meal worth break-fast to!" otherwise, the day would just go downhill. i kid you not.

and for an off-time student, there's absolute no reason for me to wake up early in the morning.

I find waking up solely for "breakfast", is the stupidest thing ever.

(1)because there's absolutely no "lovely break-fast" around.

hawkers these days are sucky. Either they get the food right or the drinks right, its rather amusing they can never master both. its not like these hawkers have 2 jobs. they have "professional coffee ppl" and "professional noodle ppl" and still they cant complement each other.

(2)because aside from having your breakfast, you have nothing else to do except watching bugs wheezing about, and you cant kill them cause if you do you have absolutely nothing to entertain yourself. wtf.

I dont even rmb having a "favourite breakfast corner" in recent years, reason isnt because i never wake up early enough for them but there's just no "good breakfast" to look forward anymore. :(

I am serious, I have this theory "Good food only starts at brunch" & it is reinforced by the years, you wouldnt read if i continue to rant on details of sucky morning hawkers. :((

oh! at least SABD days still have lovely sandwiches to start the day, even if it is slightly overpriced & without drink, because we usually have our breakfast bought to class :D good days! ♥

well at least i didnt have reason to sulk because the drink is sucky. wtf.

anyways, in conclusion, breakfast is a waste of time, waste of energy.

Ugh.

then why am I awake you ask?

simple. my mom wants me to eat.

and do you wanna know the way she cheats me out of bed this morning?

"I HAVE TO GO TO KL TO GET MY VISA, QUICK WAKE UP!" :D

yes, the sound of the city woke me. wtf. lol.

I havent been to the city for sooo long, i miss Pavillion, Bukit Bintang, and KLCC. why in particular, i could not answer. I just miss walking around these places. :)

force myself into the shower because i have a very nasty morning temper whenever i dont get my 9 hours sleep. and i knew they were gonna force me to some sucky breakfast first.

ugh!

P/S: I got conned to wake up for breakfast. they already left for the city while i'm still doing my hair, and didnt even told me until i called them at their favourite morning canteen with sucky food and drink. yes i am pissed. but wtf. imma go to kl now! :D

impatient.

I know the key to having a harmonious relationship with an elderly person requires patient, love and more patient.

and I can be patient.

I am patient when i'm doing work. I am patient on the highway. I am patient while eating.

I can be patient sitting infront of the dumbbox researching most of the time just so i could get something smart out of it. I can be patient spending time doing proposals which i might never use. I am so patient, I would smile and wait my turn when there's a line and most ppl would have just cut the queue to demand faster attendance. I can be patient spending all my time trying out/learning new programs by myself, if I want to. I will wait patiently if anyone finds it difficult in finding the right words before helping (if i know the word/term). I am patient, thus I knit. and I can be more patient, if you speak to me in a less stressful tone (never scream/shout/high tone on me please. no big baby tones too. i'll slap memalukan you or ignore you indefinitely.)

but sadly, my grandma can only speaks in high tones or SHOUTS. except for that 3 times a day when she's eating.

and my respond? very similar to "talk to the hand!" (cause she's my grandma)

no joke.

T,.T

*thunder-slapped by GOD*