crybaby.

not that i want to.

I think i have problem expressing.
presentation wise i could speak, but when it comes to translating my design, expressing my ideas and that sort. i dont know, i suck bad. and i get really disappointed at myself. which sucks double.

blame PMS.
jk.

hmm.. losing senses agian.
kent stated to me that i always ALWAYS lose the topic. DAMN FAR.
well, this i admit, even in everyday's life, i can pretty much leave a topic without noticing. tee hee.
but NOW it suck. so bad.
because its my final sem and i'm still shitty.
because i have no fucking idea how to get back, 1 thing i know is that i like my design appearance, and its now shit because i have no solid back up point. wohoo~ i've once again made pretty things into shits!
:(

and its seem pretty obvious to:
a- ditch the design and start from stracth;
b- think of a fucking strong point to back it up.

easy-peesy choices yes?
NO. coz i really like the design, and i really think it would work, just that i really have to relate it back to site.

then just go with plan b. =.=
i tried. with a concept i thought was so strong coz it was so much related to human, it was easy to understand.
and i got banned again. =.=

and i disappoint myself again.

no i do not blame my tutor, what he said made perfect sense. how did it relate to the site again? why this shape? you've got to have a stronger point to support your design. you MUST have reasons. you MUST have more confident in yourself, your design.

and that last one hits right on spot more than anything else. through college, every lecturer have been really supportive, ensuring me that i have talent, that if i really had my mind into it i could have a really good, strong design.

but.. gonna repeat for the 3rd time in coll.
i'm gonna produce shit because i have no fucking strong concept, nor site respond.
i have no supportive reason to it. eventhough i thought i was linking, its usually not.
i couldnt live up to the expectations.
and i get frustrated for disappointing myself again.
they have been perfectly kind, and i'm shit.

:(

why am i such a shit? why cant i do better? how to upgrade myself? how to think and interprate in a more complicated sense? how to link every shitsthings up together so that it form a stronger story/concept/idea? how to be more expressive? why am i just so incapable in this course i chose? how to increase confidence in myself? why do i always lose sense? why am i such a dissapointment? why is my brain so small and useless? why am i so emotional? really, why do i always wander away the main topic?

:(

not nice.

and i dont think its stress.
.
.
.

it is definately ME.

*emo*