TWO.FOURTEEN.happy tiger year! :))

this should be a quick one considering i am determined to finish of ICS midterm readings tonight, get Math114 hw done after 12. and then work on Danc48 Midterm paper due wednesday tomorrow.

by the way i have been thinking alot about today's post. cause I register today as such a beautiful head start, having both cny and vday fall on the same day.

i'm not sure about the stats of this coincidence ever recurring again, but if it should, then i'll make sure i'm as positive and happy as i am today still :)

lets just not touch on vday this year alright?

considering i had a sucky one last year when i had a bf. wtf.

whats more to say when i dont have one this year?

yes, it makes me realize how sad i am for being valentine-less for 21 years so far. so yes, lets not deprive on my sad being ok?

lets be happy cause for once, 2.14 isnt exactly 2.14!

:P

so what do you think i did today?

hmm, I said I was thinking about today's post didnt i?

I actually had my day planned out, at least half my day planned out, since february 1st. I was really looking forward to visiting that chinese temple in san jose again, the one I mentioned on my actual new year post. but forced to change plan due to PMS-ing, and I heard its bad luck to go to any "sacred place" during this time of the month.

Reason: not only is it (1) disrespectful to the Gods (which you can read loads of disagreements and p.o.v. if you google this question, especially from all-for-women's-right! women),

I also heard it is (2) a bad omen, because temples are where the wandering spirits usually go, to "find their path" back to the rightful dimension, so during that de-blooding time of the month, it is believed women are even "weaker" than their usual yin element, therefore the unjustified consequences of "welcoming" bad luck after visiting these "crowded" places.

I actually spent a little more than 2 hours in the morning researching for such unwritten beliefs, alas to no respond besides hindu and bali beliefs. I'm a buddhist. not an exact answer, but got me thinking, if hindu and muslim (as we malaysians know), and now balinese beliefs are "coincidentally" the same, then there must be something yes?

I know one may argue "its because of the status differences between men and women since medieval times!"

but have you ever thought of reviewing such matter from the unforeseeable p.o.v. i mean you have never sees God before no? but you still believe in IT yes? why? :)

conclusion: its better to be cautious than sorry. I am practically alone in a foreign country.

So there goes my original plan of "2.14"

*whoosh*

anyways, the house is really awesomely clean after my uber-chinese-determination-to-clean-house-before-cny. hahahaa. I was supposed to take pictures today, but was too cold to do anything. i suppose i'll do it tomorrow if i have time, otherwise pray it remains this state until next week! haha :P

then sweet-tooth kick in, but is also damn determine to not indulge myself with any sugar today cause it triggers my bad skin.

so enough of determination.

I shall now built my new year resolutions on such a happy day. 2.14!

(1) learn the art of poker face. smile even when I do not mean it, because this is what "acquaintances" want to see.

(2) learn to be nicer to people around me. I've been hoping ppl around me would get my sarcastic jokes, but apparently not. so I have to fit in instead of waiting around like I did for 21 years no? :)

(3) learn to be more persistent and determine. you have no idea how many things I want to do, and now that i'm in a foreign country. mwahahaha. jk. nothing bad, just a good start! 2.14! ;) haha.

(4) learn to be thankful-thankful. ok, i had a bloody nightmare last night, i dreamt i was in scotland right now and doing architecture still. fuck those lovely snow, it was really really sad: so very very cold, alone, with my cutting mat and model boards, and fuck presentation cause it must be really really bad (as always) and ugh, the whole dream is black and white! i really hate monochrome dreams. haha. so anyways, I woke up to a stupid phone call and is thankful that I'm in CALIFORNIA, given this opportunity to restart my college life, with the options of so many other things like intercultural communication and... a real campus! :D

(5) find the perfect balance between being independent and dependent. wtf. this sounds confusing, and sure is challenging, but it is absolutely essential because my previous determination to be independent from my inborn dependency, forbidding myself to be "clingy" to even the slightest attempt, pushes ppl away from me, and causes internal emotional conflict its so very depressing. (o-o)'''

(6) byebye lazy faye, hello new heidi. haha. yes, I am determine to out-grown all my negative old self and start anew. :D

you'll be with me wont you my friends? ;)

kamsia, have a nice Fierce, Determined, and Ambitious year everyone!

♥ ♥

(((:

My nye's breakfast! Starting with cleaning the left over, then gonna clean the house.

Never the less, I'm still a Chinese! :DDD

Happy Wu Year everyone! Have a kick ass roaring one ok? ;)

Heidi from iPhone by BlogPress

a virgo indeed.

总觉得 如果有那么一点点的不一样，可能今天的我就会很不一样。

如果我再高一点点，我因该会更大胆一点，更潇洒一点。。

始终是处女座 太介意小细节。。

I have always have a little gut feeling saying that maybe some minor changes might just make me different than who I am today.

say, if only i'm a couple inches taller,

maybe I'll be a little more confident, a little more carefree.. just a little more.

over-sensitive indeed.

不健康

每当我快放下的时候。。

你才说我最想听的话。。

不是我不喜欢你了。。

但真的太迟，太不健康了。。

爱情不因该这样的。。

旧情人。。

i tried typing it in chinese because he's a "true-blood" chinese, but i am truly a sdn. bhd.

it sucked so bad. =.=

anyways, after not speaking for one month.

ok there was this 5 minutes call. actually twice. even so, thats like 10minutes only in a month. so my point is still valid. fml.

I do miss him.

I miss having someone to talk to at anytime.

I miss having someone keep talking when i dont feel like talking.

I miss tuning him out on purpose because i'm still trying to let myself out of the game.

I miss upsetting someone on purpose.

I miss having someone to argue with.

I miss having someone i could call at odd hours, just because.

I miss having someone worry about my whereabouts.

I miss having someone who'd show up whenever I want him to.

I miss caring for someone knowing he cares too.

I miss how my emotion could go upside down for someone.

I really miss him.

and its weird, because there are things that i wanna spill, and its only discussable with him. but i cant do that now, can I?

and because we're in this weird relationship its not right for me to interrupt him during this crazy day-night-final-marathon right?

you know, it is times like this when i really regret stepping over the friendship border.

旧情人 真的不能当朋友吗？

... lifebad romance sucks.

Happy new year~ :)

haha, 12 days late, but nevertheless, happy new year ppl! :D

how was yours?

Let me recap my new year celebration...

(1) awesome dinner + paranormal story sharing. ♥ ♥ ♥

(2) short and not so amazing fireworks at pier 1, San Fransisco.

(seriously, msia is so much more fancier with our awesome christmas-y street decos + so many places pull the cork, eventho our trees do lose to theirs. heehee.)

(3) sucky hongkong style cafe for "supper".

kena con by its "hong kong style chee cheong fun", its just dried up cheong fun with very disgusting peanut & black sauce wtf.

(this is one stupid cafe which ruins the "hong kong style cheong fun", the other restaurant was awesome :D)

(4) stuck freezing for 3 hours on twin peak.

cause some guy wanna court this girl, and idk who's amazing idea was to go up there. and the group initially wanted to wait till sunrise since we were already there until 4am, but thank goodness the guys finally couldnt stand the cold anymore at 5 woohoo! (sun rise at 6.) haha. :P

(5) no sleep till after "breakfast". reach home at 7am.

yes, it was one hour drive (approx.) one way from san fran. to our place. vice versa. pretty near in real, but heck for someone who have no sleep and woke at 6am (i dont even rmb why did i wake up so early the day before) it was hell. well, not hell like what used to be at taylors. but hell cause i have bad skin now, and they hella irritate and reacts when i dont get enough rest, or too cold, or have too much sun block on for more than 7 hours. I do blotch. :(

(6) bathed and went to look for a chinese temple around san jose.

(cause dad have a friend's friend who went to thailand, and a monk/sifu she met at the temple told her something dirty was following her, and she had the similar "sudden break outs" like I do. after she saw that monk/sifu and have him "cleansed" her, she came back to malaysia clear skin and pretty again!) wtf.

nevertheless, i went there, prayed and had fun around the temple for awhile, feeling refreshed. but did not come back clear skin and pretty. lol.

anyways, unlike temples in msia (which i hate, have i emphasize enough how disgusted i am with msian temples? like i HAVE to prepare my wallet even before i go around praying. wtf) temples here are actually serene. No, i am not comparing them to a japanese temple nor a church (which are really serene places). but amazingly enough, this chinese temple was so peaceful too. there was a faint familiar scent of burning joss stick mingled with the sweet smell of fir/pine (idk what tree was it) in the air. u know, the sweet smell of trees, go to cameron highland and wind down your window while cruising, thats the scent i'm talking about, though there are that heavy blanket of humidity in msia which makes everything too "overwhelming". dont get me wrong, i love msia, but sometimes the humidity gets to me its just plain annoying.

(7) ... er i think i came home and only went to bed at 4pm. woke up at 6pm. and the rest of the day.... i dont rmb what happen. shouldnt be amazing otherwise i WILL rmb.

(8) went to a small scottish pub in cupertino village on saturday night (2nd jan) and had the most amazing mud pie ever. its one THICK/BIG slice of mocha ice cream on rich chocolate cookies (i think its oreo, without cream) with loads of cream and almond flakes on top. mmm-lovely! *salivates*

(9) and its already time for school :(

met loads of Adrienne's friends. they laugh alot, but i didnt click. wtf. i must be darn asian to not get their joke. or maybe cause i am a snob i dont find their laughing point humorous. fml.

(10) friendless, and getting retarded in english. i dont know why i suddenly have this malaysian accent after i came over, so embarrassed to speak. fml2. i am serious. i was asking if they accept debit, and my tone just went up like how annoying malaysians speak english. T.T somebody kill me.

(11) heck load of readings, enjoy the american interactive class practice, love the mixed ethnicity and the acceptance from the professors.

(12) went to a caucasian sports bar and grill for Marlyn's birthday. AWESOME ATMOSPHERE! like the best out of all pubs i went to eventho the food ratings are just so-so. but the cocktails here were amazing. this is serious, coming from a no-cocktail-please girl! :D :D

oh btw, marlyn's vanessa's very adorable friend. equally small in size as i am, and we had a ridiculous encounter on our first night out (to Bourbon & Branch). hilarious! haha.

(13) love watching Vanessa and Gonzalo together. this is the first couple i know who compliments each other in presence. I really hope vanessa's green card application goes well.

(14) appreciate the rain after days of freezing temperature.

(15) appreciating having ppl have lunch with me. haha.

I guess thats all for now!

imma go back to readings for tomorrow classes!

<3 :)

P/S: initially wanted to post about my new year resolutions, but i only have one. O_O and its not even a strong commitment thing. swt.

maybe definitely think you guys should help!

suggest what I need improvement on. :D

I promise I'll listen this time.

bye ♥ ;)

I think i need a new concept blog...

like...

a ONE-photo-ONE-caption posts blog...

example:

..if only i am four inches taller..

*lol*

catchy, simple, to-the-point!

yes? no?

Cheesecake factory! <3

my 2nd saturday, in CA.

Vanessa(elder sis) fell sick,

while Adrienne(younger sis) have finals to atten

d next week,

and Heidi has no friend. :(

So all there's left to do is stay home :((

The cold is such a booboo. :(

I'm always awaken by the low temperature in the middle of the night. eww.

& couldnt go back to sleep soon enough. eww2.

jet lag recurring. :(

then i got so bored, I start preparing breakfast.

at 3 in the morning. no kid!

thank goodness there's loads of ingredients at home, otherwise i'll have a tough time waiting for time to pass. :/

eww, this post is getting as boring as i feel! >:(

Anyways, curious as what i made for breakfasts?

I tried risotto friday morning, it was very tasty while it was still warm, but real nasty when it turns cold. Like heaven to hell, it gets hard and sticky c

old. I'd describe it as "nose poop", if you understand. hahahahaha.

So ppl, have risotto as much as you can in warmer weather! :P

Then I tried Lotus root soup with ribs and peanuts today.

My sisters says its okay, but i personally think it lacks something. (told you i'm a critique)

I could only taste fats(from ribs) and plain lotus root despite putting it to boil for approximately 6 hours and a lot of salt (imo).

hmm.. am i lacking any other ingredients?

*btw, no photos because i was still groggy from the lack of sleep & brain freeze.

I go back to bed when the sun is up, cause the temperature is more bearable then, and sleep the day away. wtf. sadness right?

went to micheal's to get christmas balls.

our christmas tree~

...

which gets all the heated air, because thats where its placed: before the heater. while I chill my limbs off. (ass is unsurprisingly the warmest, cause I sit so much.) tsk. lol.

And went for a ride with A. that crazy girl was still craving for FROZEN YOGURT despite the chilly weather. o_o

Thank goodness it wasnt open, haha. *evil*

So she brought me to a student hangout spot, to get bubble tea.

Then i force her to bring me elsewhere pretty, because it is just so boring!

(sucky architecture. cheap lighting. loads of "gang-ish" students hanging in the carpark. wtf.)

And we got to Santana Row on GPS! woohoo.

at 11.20pm. :D

Santana Row, San Jose, is sorta like Pasadena in LA (my absolute favourite place in America :D).

just lacks ppl.

I was here last year, love the concept, love the deco, but it still lacks crowd. *shrugs*

its "lifeless". architecture is pointless without "life" living in them.

*sigh*

Then like our visit last year, we went to the Cheesecake Factory, again, as our final stop. haha!

♥ ♥ ♥

This is their 30th Anniversary Limited Edition Chocolate Cake.

its a combined recipe of their original Cheesecake with (my previous favourite) Chocolate Fudge Cake.

mm-mm-Mmm, so divine! okbye!