4 more days to his 2nd month memorial.

the weather's so good, the sun shaded by clouds, and the air is still cool from the rain last night.

sounds great for a picnic yes? :)

but, i'd be much appreciative of it.. if this was 2 months earlier.

*****

hi darling,

how are you?

*****

hmm..

i guess i no longer love rainy days. or cloudy days. any-day when the sun's shaded.

rather, i've diverted so far, i enjoy bright sunny days even though it stings and would cause freckles and black pigmentation etc..

i guess the death of lucky had cause an impact on me.

it suddenly seems, good things never seem happens on rainy days, is this the reason you preferred bright sunny days? 

and i've adapted a hobby of sky-looking, just as that dear boy did, just looking. :)

I'd smile and suddenly feel good when the sky is healthy with vast contrast of white fluffy cloud upon blue sky.

...

did you realize, that whenever the sky's "feeling pretty", its as if nothing bad could happen. 

or when you're down, you look up and the sky's being so bright and pretty, and you'd feel rejenuvate?

:) i did.

and it feels so good because i found myself to be satisfied and appreciative of small little things. 

[a target i've been trying to reach after deciding not to pray merely for the sake of getting blessed.]

its as if i've upstage myself.

anyhow, i'm glad he made me look at sky. haha. really.

i miss him.. :)

* * * * edit * * * *

another impact lucky had on me: i feel good after talking bout him. <3

i was gonna post a sad entry because the weather's this dull today.

i was gonna complain as to why am i feeling incomplete at this moment, even though..

- school have end and i should be a diploma grad soon.      [:D point 1] 

- all the stress are being lift off; i could sleep without an alarm, food tastes good again and my stomach is so flat [it slimmed to 21.5cm!] i feel so good.      [:D point 2, 3, 4 + bonus 1* because thats my almost ideal waist width. haha.] 

- and i'd be going off to the states in a week time to bug my sister again *woohoo!*. [:D point 345678900290934424. i'm going on another vacation! x)] 

see, there's really no reason for me to be that upset just now. 

but instead thanks to my stupid composition technique, i diverted into talking bout lucky boy. and i feel good again. haha :)

 

i really miss my darling boy!

* * * * *

by the way, 

     tracy called the other day, and boy, am i glad. i didnt know i missed her this much till she called. it feels so nice, its as if she wasnt even across the ocean. 

i miss those crazy time we have, camwhoring and talking shits, kay-po-ing. getting mad at each other for no apparent reason. grew apart and got tighter again and again. haha. looking back our friendship was rather stupid and pointless. but i love it. :)

shirley also called another day, and we talked. It was school work. but still it was so nice to hear her voice. x)

i dunno why i miss everyone suddenly...

but i feel loved [not only by mr. wtf lah].     

 thank you. ;)