Monday, January 25, 2010


i tried typing it in chinese because he's a "true-blood" chinese, but i am truly a sdn. bhd.
it sucked so bad. =.=

anyways, after not speaking for one month.
ok there was this 5 minutes call. actually twice. even so, thats like 10minutes only in a month. so my point is still valid. fml.
I do miss him.
I miss having someone to talk to at anytime.
I miss having someone keep talking when i dont feel like talking.
I miss tuning him out on purpose because i'm still trying to let myself out of the game.
I miss upsetting someone on purpose.
I miss having someone to argue with.
I miss having someone i could call at odd hours, just because.
I miss having someone worry about my whereabouts.
I miss having someone who'd show up whenever I want him to.
I miss caring for someone knowing he cares too.
I miss how my emotion could go upside down for someone.
I really miss him.

and its weird, because there are things that i wanna spill, and its only discussable with him. but i cant do that now, can I?

and because we're in this weird relationship its not right for me to interrupt him during this crazy day-night-final-marathon right?

you know, it is times like this when i really regret stepping over the friendship border.

旧情人 真的不能当朋友吗?

... lifebad romance sucks.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Happy new year~ :)

haha, 12 days late, but nevertheless, happy new year ppl! :D

how was yours?

Let me recap my new year celebration...

(1) awesome dinner + paranormal story sharing. ♥ ♥ ♥

(2) short and not so amazing fireworks at pier 1, San Fransisco.
(seriously, msia is so much more fancier with our awesome christmas-y street decos + so many places pull the cork, eventho our trees do lose to theirs. heehee.)

(3) sucky hongkong style cafe for "supper".
kena con by its "hong kong style chee cheong fun", its just dried up cheong fun with very disgusting peanut & black sauce wtf.
(this is one stupid cafe which ruins the "hong kong style cheong fun", the other restaurant was awesome :D)

(4) stuck freezing for 3 hours on twin peak.
cause some guy wanna court this girl, and idk who's amazing idea was to go up there. and the group initially wanted to wait till sunrise since we were already there until 4am, but thank goodness the guys finally couldnt stand the cold anymore at 5 woohoo! (sun rise at 6.) haha. :P

(5) no sleep till after "breakfast". reach home at 7am.
yes, it was one hour drive (approx.) one way from san fran. to our place. vice versa. pretty near in real, but heck for someone who have no sleep and woke at 6am (i dont even rmb why did i wake up so early the day before) it was hell. well, not hell like what used to be at taylors. but hell cause i have bad skin now, and they hella irritate and reacts when i dont get enough rest, or too cold, or have too much sun block on for more than 7 hours. I do blotch. :(

(6) bathed and went to look for a chinese temple around san jose.
(cause dad have a friend's friend who went to thailand, and a monk/sifu she met at the temple told her something dirty was following her, and she had the similar "sudden break outs" like I do. after she saw that monk/sifu and have him "cleansed" her, she came back to malaysia clear skin and pretty again!) wtf.
nevertheless, i went there, prayed and had fun around the temple for awhile, feeling refreshed. but did not come back clear skin and pretty. lol.
anyways, unlike temples in msia (which i hate, have i emphasize enough how disgusted i am with msian temples? like i HAVE to prepare my wallet even before i go around praying. wtf) temples here are actually serene. No, i am not comparing them to a japanese temple nor a church (which are really serene places). but amazingly enough, this chinese temple was so peaceful too. there was a faint familiar scent of burning joss stick mingled with the sweet smell of fir/pine (idk what tree was it) in the air. u know, the sweet smell of trees, go to cameron highland and wind down your window while cruising, thats the scent i'm talking about, though there are that heavy blanket of humidity in msia which makes everything too "overwhelming". dont get me wrong, i love msia, but sometimes the humidity gets to me its just plain annoying.

(7) ... er i think i came home and only went to bed at 4pm. woke up at 6pm. and the rest of the day.... i dont rmb what happen. shouldnt be amazing otherwise i WILL rmb.

(8) went to a small scottish pub in cupertino village on saturday night (2nd jan) and had the most amazing mud pie ever. its one THICK/BIG slice of mocha ice cream on rich chocolate cookies (i think its oreo, without cream) with loads of cream and almond flakes on top. mmm-lovely! *salivates*

(9) and its already time for school :(
met loads of Adrienne's friends. they laugh alot, but i didnt click. wtf. i must be darn asian to not get their joke. or maybe cause i am a snob i dont find their laughing point humorous. fml.

(10) friendless, and getting retarded in english. i dont know why i suddenly have this malaysian accent after i came over, so embarrassed to speak. fml2. i am serious. i was asking if they accept debit, and my tone just went up like how annoying malaysians speak english. T.T somebody kill me.

(11) heck load of readings, enjoy the american interactive class practice, love the mixed ethnicity and the acceptance from the professors.

(12) went to a caucasian sports bar and grill for Marlyn's birthday. AWESOME ATMOSPHERE! like the best out of all pubs i went to eventho the food ratings are just so-so. but the cocktails here were amazing. this is serious, coming from a no-cocktail-please girl! :D :D
oh btw, marlyn's vanessa's very adorable friend. equally small in size as i am, and we had a ridiculous encounter on our first night out (to Bourbon & Branch). hilarious! haha.

(13) love watching Vanessa and Gonzalo together. this is the first couple i know who compliments each other in presence. I really hope vanessa's green card application goes well.

(14) appreciate the rain after days of freezing temperature.

(15) appreciating having ppl have lunch with me. haha.

I guess thats all for now!
imma go back to readings for tomorrow classes!

<3 :)

P/S: initially wanted to post about my new year resolutions, but i only have one. O_O and its not even a strong commitment thing. swt.
maybe definitely think you guys should help!
suggest what I need improvement on. :D
I promise I'll listen this time.

bye ♥ ;)